I went back to work after being out for six months. A lot of things stayed the same, but a lot of things changed, including how I felt about myself. This post details my experience as well as a number of tips that a returning parent your return easier. If this sounds familiar, I was fortunate to speak on this topic at Lead Developer Austin in November 2019, and you can also watch the 10-minute presentation version of this information. 10 minutes is a very short period of time, so please consider this the extended “Everything you need to know about managing your parental leave” version. There’s plenty to say about supporting parents on parental leave, but that’s outside the scope of this post.
Before Parental Leave Begins
There is a lot to do before going out on leave, and this can be one of the most stressful, uncertain times for everyone involved. With these tips, hopefully you can mitigate some of that uncertainty with a clear plan.
Continue reading “Parental Leave Guide for Parents”
On this Father’s Day, I’ve been thinking about the time I spend with my kids and how different their childhoods have been for me as a result of taking or not taking parental leave.
Continue reading “Father’s Day”
I am so grateful that I’ve been able to spend six months with my family taking parental leave for the birth of my daughter.
I think it’s important to pause for a moment and acknowledge the fact that I’m highly privileged to receive this much parental leave in the United States. Most people do not receive anything comparable. The federal Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA) provides 12 weeks of unpaid leave for mothers, but only if they work for a company with 50 or more employees. In California, we have Paid Family Leave (PFL), which provides 6 weeks of partially paid leave. A few other states have similar protections, but it’s not enough for families to recover from the trauma of childbirth and to be in the right mental and physical health before returning to work. I’m grateful that a number of tech companies are leading the pack in terms of parental leave, and very fortunate that I’m able to work in this industry, but hopefully one’s ability to care for their child or partner will not be dependent on their employer in the future.
So, with all that said, I’m very grateful that my employer provides six months of parental leave to either parent, for childbirth or adoption. It’s an amazing benefit.
Continue reading “I’m Grateful for My Parental Leave”
It’s been over a year since I wrote about my version of Manager READMEs and it’s been great to see READMEs and discussions about them crop up all over the internet. I shared some tips about successfully sharing information through documents on Twitter and here I’ll apply them to a Manager README to help you avoid some common pitfalls that can lead the document to hurt more than it helps.
As a reminder, my intent of a Manager README had two parts:
- Share expectations
- Build trust
A year later, I think it’s better to focus on the recipient’s value of this document, hence this new and improved intent:
Continue reading “Avoiding Mistakes with your Manager README”
- Share expectations to reduce their anxiety
- Build trust as they get to know you
2017 has been quite a year. Looking back at my 2016 in Review post, here were my two biggest goals for 2017 and a mini retrospective:
- Give away my Legos so that I can work with new ones.
- Despite having the same title, I had a very different job at the end of 2017 than at the beginning. Sometimes it feels like I went from this to this.
- Keep learning…
- About my slice of the industry by hosting more meetups.
- This didn’t happen at all.
- About management via the Rands Leadership slack.
- This was a triumph, and my network is stronger than ever.
- About parenting and my kid by using my parental leave.
- I spent a lot of time with my kiddo, using 26 days in 2017, up from 16 in 2016.
What follows are the stories behind these snippets, and a few other things that happened. Continue reading “2017 in Review”
UPDATE: check out my follow-up post Avoiding Mistakes with your Manager README
As a manager, on-boarding is both tough and really important whether you’re joining a team or they’re joining yours. My very short list for on-boarding in either direction is:
- Share expectations
- Build trust
Continue reading “Share your Manager README”
This collection of lists is predominantly skewed towards gender diversity in tech. I don’t mean to imply that racial diversity is less important, but this collection sprung out of discussions related to James Damore’s memo.
This article by Rachel Thomas touches on many of these issues (with citations), and I recommend it.
We have a problem with institutionalized sexism in (at least) the tech industry which reduces gender diversity. This has multiple aspects:
Gender diversity in tech is important. Here are some reasons why:
Are there any links I should add? Please let me know!
Let me just start with: Wow.
It’s been a huge year for all of us, full of changes and growth.
At the beginning of the year, I was looking for a new job in software engineering management. My wife was 5 months pregnant, and I was trying to figure out how rapidly I needed to get a paycheck. I was very lucky to be able to sell some stock options from my last company to tide me over for six months and allow me to find the job I wanted rather than settling for the job I needed. That has not been my experience in the past, and I don’t count on it being the case in the future.
Finding a management job can be tough.
Continue reading “2016 in Review”
“Ever Present” by JD Hancock is licensed under CC BY 2.0
I’ve heard that a lot this year and it’s changed me in two pretty fundamental ways.
First, I’ve started seeking it out.
Continue reading “Feedback is a gift”
I just read Quinn Norton‘s excellent piece, Ahimsa Online and it got me thinking about arguing on the internet, and in my day-to-day. Continue reading “Speak to Be Heard (Not to Win)”